Petrellicest. 100_wonders. Beginnings. 100 words exactly. I love me :D
Nathan doesn’t release Peter until they touch down. It takes them both a few minutes to realise that they’re back. Peter’s face is flushed, and when he looks into Nathan’s eyes he see’s the release and the wonder, but also the fear.
“What are you afraid of?”
Peter presses a hand to his face when he gets nothing, and knows it must be cold from the chill and rush of flight. He doesn’t need to hear the words to know what they would be. Nathan’s eyes say it all for him.
What if I like it too much to stop?
title: i spy
pairing: lorne/zelenka [the beginnings of]. hints at mcshep :D
summary: lorne and zelenka spend more time together than they would like.
notes: sorry this took so long to get to you. hope it's what you wanted :)
(for those who doubt that Zelenka would speak so well: he's spent three years on Atlantis and ON THE SHOW he loses his odd missing words, just retains the Czech inflection. so there).
“I’m beginning to wonder if this is how the Colonel feels.” Lorne could feel the headache pounding behind his eyes and acted nonchalant in the face of Radek’s obvious glare.
“Rodney is insufferable. I possess better social skills.”
Lorne snickered inwardly at that, but managed to keep it from showing up on his face. “Can you get us out?”
Another withering glance but at least this time Radek got back to work.
He was about ready to smack his head on the side of the transporter but restrained himself, barely. “Is a very simple request, Rodney.”
The irritated Canadian muttered to himself and then louder, said, “Yes, yes. We’re working on it.”
“Oh, don’t mind us Rodney. We’ve only been in here for an hour.” The bite to Lorne’s tone didn’t surprise Radek at all. He wanted to get out too.
“I apologise, Major-” The sarcasm was pure Rodney, but Radek could hear Sheppard say something and then Rodney bit out a; “Fine,” before silence.
Radek groaned at Lorne’s grin. “Wanna play I Spy?”
“-Something beginning with-”
“If this is ‘transporter doors’ again, I’m not playing anymore.”
Lorne resisted the urge to pout. “It was actually just ‘transporter’ but fine.” They sat in companionable silence for five seconds. “Rodney is taking a considerably long time to fix this.”
Radek just shrugged. “Is probably just making out with the Colonel.”
Lorne tensed up and Radek seemed to realise what he had just said. This time the silence was uncomfortable and Lorne was relieved when Radek broke it. “I spy-”
Radek jumped and felt Lorne shift beside him. “Yes Rodney?”
“We’ve figured out the problem but it’s going to take a while to fix it.”
There was an embarrassed pause and this time Lorne jumped in. “McKay?”
“Major?” Sheppard’s voice was tight as he took over. “Give it about two more hours and you’re out of there.”
Lorne groaned and Radek could sympathise. “Two hours? Are you certain?”
“No, Radek, I decided to let Kavanagh do the calculations just to spite you and-”
“Yes, Rodney, we get it.” Zelenka rolled his eyes, shutting the comm. off, lest he endure more of Rodney’s wrath (read: whining).
Lorne frowned and rested his forearms on his knees. “About what you said earlier-”
Radek’s face closed off and he studied Lorne’s carefully. The Colonel placed a huge amount of faith in Lorne and he was a close friend of Rodney’s already. Radek enjoyed his company and after their brush with the ‘game’, he was willing to call Evan a friend. But with something as valuable as Rodney’s greatest secret and Sheppard’s greatest weakness, Radek felt as if he had betrayed their trust. “Is for them to tell you, if they want you to know.”
“Want, or need?”
Lorne smiled easily, and Radek relaxed. “I get it, Radek.” He looked thoughtful and then gave a shrug.
Radek frowned, “Colonel Caldwell-”
“Will get nothing from me.” He gave Radek a wry grin. “Besides, McKay would find a way to murder me and not get caught, if I said anything.”
Radek chuckled. “He would.”
They both sobered quickly. “I trust Colonel Sheppard more than anybody else. His private life is just that, private.”
Radek’s smile was warm this time. “Thank you, Ma-Evan.”
“Not needed, Radek.”
“You said two hours.” Radek’s words were indignant. Sheppard steered Lorne away before he cold hear McKay’s reply.
“Evan?” Sheppard, startled, turned the same time as Lorne and he would have laughed at McKay’s face if Radek wasn’t waiting. “Are we on?”
Lorne grinned. “Sure. Been a long time since I played chess.” Radek nodded, smiling and let a recovered Rodney continue his tirade.
Lorne could feel Sheppard’s eyes on him all the way to the Gateroom and Elizabeth’s impending interrogation. “What, I’m not allowed a scientist too?”
Sheppard laughed, and didn’t stop until they reached Elizabeth’s office. Lorne felt quite pleased with himself, too.
HEROES FIC FOR ALL :D
title: with you
characters: claire, nathan.
Nathan opened the door slowly and she couldn’t deny that the flash of grief on his face mirrored hers, maybe more so.
“He asked me to shoot him.” She couldn’t look at him; she didn’t want to have to deal with the anger and betrayal on his face. She was surprised when he put a hand on her knee.
“I told him I would save him.”
“You didn’t hesitate.”
“No. But I failed too.”
She let out a choked sob and surprised herself by welcoming his arms. “Dad-” This is what it took, then, to bring them together.
title: coming home
Nathan pressed his fingers against Peter’s mouth and shook his head. Sad eyes looked back, heavy with regret and despair. “Don’t, Peter.”
Peter gripped his wrist and pushed his hand away. He needed to do this. “Let me finish, Nate, please.”
Hesitation briefly, Nathan nodded stiffly and stepped back. Peter didn’t let him make a distance and crowded his space. “It was unexpected, Nathan.” He smiled at the uncertainty he got in return. “But not unwelcome.”
It had been a long time since they had done this, but kissing Nathan (again) felt a lot like coming home.
For raihon in the heroes_holidays Spring Joyathon.
title: outside looking in
pairing: petrellicest [sort of] and nathan/heidi
notes: thanks to lostandalone22 for the beta :)
Heidi knows what people say behind her back, the looks they give her.
She’s come to accept the pity and the sympathy, just like she’s come to accept the guilt Nathan will always carry about the accident. Sometimes when she lays awake with Nathan’s hand on the small of her back, breath hot on the back of her neck, will she hate him too. She watches with envy, the lingering touches he gives Peter, the looks he throws his brother's way and he realises there will always be three in this relationship, too.
Nathan loves her, she knows that. He shows it too, with his soft kisses, whispered promises, and the way he touches her, oh so carefully, on the few occasions he’s made love to her since. The way his hand caresses her body, her breast, his lips caressing skin that’s laid untouched in months. She loves him when he looks at her like she’s the only thing that matters, the only thing he cares for right then.
He hasn’t looked at her like that since the accident.
It isn’t something they can help, not with the guilt and the anger. She’s bitter, too, at Peter, but she loves him like the brother she never had and it confuses her. She says the way they’ve been interacting, recently, the way Peter sweeps Monty from his feet, showering her son with all the attentions he lavishes so lovingly on Nathan. See’s Nathan’s fingers curl on Peter’s elbow, a warning, to some, to be careful, but she knows it’s protection of another sort she see’s in Nathan’s eyes. The sort that whispers be careful to Peter, for Peter too.
She guides the wheelchair into the room and see’s Nathan’s eyes cloud over almost instantly. It’s not something she can help, but she wants to work on it. They deserve better, the both of them, but they’ve promised to make it work more times than she can count. Monty grins at her from Peter’s shoulder and she catches Simon’s gloomy expression before Peter’s hand lands on his shoulder. She marvels, then, at the effect Peter has on them all, when his attention is on you, it’s like you’re the only thing that matters, and she can forgive Nathan, now, because he’s Peter’s brother, and she knows what it’s like to want to protect what you have.
Peter isn’t a possession, but when Heidi and Nathan fight over him, it’s just like that, that they’re fighting over Peter. She wishes she had the courage to confront him, to warn him that Nathan is doting on him so hard he’s beginning to forget about the rest of his family, his wife and his children. Peter’s eyes capture hers and his smile wraps around the thought and forces it from her head. She can no more blame him than she can blame herself or Nathan. This is something that happens and they can get around it. She just needs –
She isn’t sure what, just knows that she wants Nathan the way she used to.
“Hey. Are you feeling better?” It’s Peter that asks, but it is Nathan she turns to, see’s the happiness in his face when he looks at her and she wonders if she’s imagined the distance all along. She wheels forward, over to Nathan and he squeezes her shoulder gently, in an imitation of the one Peter’s just given Simon. She musters up the best smile she can in this moment, and it seems to satisfy him for now. The curl in his eyebrows, the look in his eyes suggests he knows something’s on her mind, but they all have secrets.
She’s more of a Petrelli, now, than maybe he knows.
They don’t gather like this often, and when they do Angela is there too. Heidi likes her, but she see’s the way she’s twisted Nathan into doing what was set out for him, the path that was laid and she resents her just a little for that. If things had been different, if Nathan had been allowed to lead his own life, maybe they would have met under different circumstances, and maybe he would have loved her that little bit more.
His arm tightens and she gives him another tight smile. There’s a tenseness there that they’re both only beginning to realise and Peter senses it because he sweeps the children from the room with muttered words and promises of cake. Nathan’s attempts at rebuttal are lost as the door shuts them in, and Heidi thanks Peter in the back of her mind.
Maybe he realises, too, what’s going on and his empathy has always surprised her, his ability to sense what Nathan needs, when he needs it, and it’s the most agreeable she’s been towards him for days.
Nathan bends down and looks her in the eye. “What is it?” His words are soft, and she watches the mask of the politician fall away, leaving just Nathan behind, and he’s so beautiful and kind and caring she wonders how Angela can miss just how wonderful her eldest son is, how brilliant he could be this way as congressman, President.
“Nothing I won’t get over.” She touches his face and smiles when he relaxes, just that little bit more into her hand. They used to have moments like this, before, when she could walk. She doesn’t resent those times, but she misses them more and more. It’s different now, but not always for the worst. He leans forward and brushes his lips against hers, carefully like everything else, but then deepens it. He wraps his emotion around hers, bringing her close until she feels that she could drown in what Nathan’s giving her.
It’s hard to be his wife, sometimes, when he’s like this. She can almost forget his distance, the way he hurts her and his obvious indifference towards her at times. But she knows that she can’t let him go, and wonders at the same time if this is the way Peter feels, because in the end it all comes down to Peter. For Nathan, and by default for her, it will always be about Peter.
She will stick by him, though, and love him because it’s all she can do. She loves her sons and she loves Nathan, and even though she doesn’t think, sometimes, that she’s strong enough, she’s the only thing keeping them all together for now.
She just hopes that Nathan will remember them, from time to time, and love them like he loves his brother.
This makes me want to write a fic where Nathan tells Heidi about Claire and she meets the girl for the first time :/
Also. I started this kid!fic for the same person, and just wondered what you all thought. Should I continue? :| i hate being undecided, but needs must, I guess.
title: the path to now
pairing: petrellicest / brother!fic
summary: When he was 26, Peter Petrelli died.
When he was 26, Peter Petrelli died.
When he was 26, Peter Petrelli died and left his brother without a purpose, a reason to go on.
When he was 26, Peter Petrelli died and Nathan did too.
Nathan was angry, at first, because this was an intruder into his life, stealing from him, (Mother, father, attention) as surely as he had stolen $10 from his mothers purse last Sunday. It mattered more, because Angela doted (already) on her new baby with a love Nathan had never seen.
He was twelve and five sixths, and he was already smarter than most children his age, quicker to judge and he did not like this new person in his home, in his life.
While his mother was resting, and Nathan had evaded his nanny for the fourth time in an hour, he crept slowly into his new brother’s room. He wrinkled his nose, ready for the disinterest and the revulsion.
What he got instead, then, would shape who Nathan was going to be, how much he would achieve, and how far he would go in the name of brother. It buried under his skin, itched, and called his brothers name. It thrummed into Nathan something he couldn’t ever (wouldn’t ever) describe, but sounded a lot like mine, mine, hurt and I’ll hurt you, brother, brother, mine.
He knew, though, like his mother didn’t tolerate language, affection or crying, that nobody was ever going to hurt his brother again. Not whilst Nathan Petrelli was still breathing.
Nathan was only at the gate to the manor when he heard the crying. He jogged up the path and pushed open the door, recognising it as the injured pitch of his brothers’ cry. Taking the steps two at a time, he wondered how he was going to explain to his parents why they were going to have to fire yet another nanny. He reached the room at the same time she did, but his glare and the growl under his breath brought her up short, and she stepped back, letting him into the room.
As soon as he entered, Peter seemed to sense it, and waved his stubby arms into the air, wailing all the time. Nathan was used to it, but it still made his heart catch every time, that somebody could have that much faith and love in him and be not yet three. It was heartbreaking, though, because he knew he didn’t deserve that level of devotion, not yet.
“S’okay, Pete.” Peter’s arms immediately wrapped around Nathan’s neck and he was surprised at how quickly the cries subsided. “What happened?”
Sniffing loudly, Peter waved his hand about the room but gave no explanation. Rolling his eyes, and turning to the nanny he just raised an eyebrow. He remembered his father saying he was proud of how much Nathan could say with just his face, but this was the first time he had ever utilised it.
“I just left the room for a second. The next thing I know he’s wailing and you were already home.” She had the decency to flush, and Nathan wanted to snap at her that she never let him out of her sight, but that was ridiculous because he was never always within Nathan’s sight was he?
“Nathan?” Peter’s eyes were wide and blue and something clenched again at the sight and Nathan knew that with eyes like that, he was going to be dancing to Peter’s tune, and not the other way round, for the rest of his life.
“You make it go away?” One of Peter’s hands had clenched at the front of Nathan’s shirt and he swallowed thickly at the look in his brothers eyes.
“Yeah, Pete. I’ll always make it go away.”
It was the day after Peter’s fourth birthday that Nathan lost him for the first time.
They’d been escorted to the zoo by the Nanny (against Nathan’s want, but he knew when to back down from his parents’ argument) and they were only looking at the penguins. Nathan had taken his eyes off of Peter for a second, and then he was gone.
He remembered the blind panic of realisation, and worse at the thought that someone had taken off with his brother. The anger followed hot on its heels, that whomever it was, was going to pay.
When Nathan found him, ten minutes later peering over the top of the wall to the lion’s cage with their Nanny, he bent down and pulled Peter towards him.
“Nathan?” Peter’s tone was curious, but Nathan just looked at him, holding him tight and eventually Peter held him back. “It’s okay Nathan. I’m okay, see?”
Nathan wasn’t, though. He wasn’t prepared for that feeling of hurtmaimkill that came with losing his brother in a zoo.
Nathan left for college when Peter was six. He stood in the doorway, bag slung over one shoulder and let his parents shower him with false affection and departure, purely for Meredith’s benefit, he was sure. He remembered later that they had liked her once, after all.
Peter was standing at the bottom of the steps, bottom lip doing the customary wobble and it was almost enough to make Nathan forget all about college, and stay here with him. Almost. Cutting short his parents tirade of don’t forget this and look out for them, he knelt on one knee, felt the bag hit the floor with a thud and Peter came to him almost immediately. Out of the corner of his eye he could see his fathers disapproving stare, and his mother’s torn expression.
“It’s okay, Pete. I’ll be back before you know it.” But it wasn’t enough for Peter, and wouldn’t be for him, either, he knew.
“Stay.” It was no more than a whisper against his ear, but it made Nathan flinch. When he grew up, Peter was going to have more devastating effects on him, causing more trouble than he wanted for the both of them, but Peter couldn’t know what sacrifices Nathan was making for him by doing this.
“Can’t, kiddo.” He said it in the same soft tone and wished that he could convey everything to Peter. Wished he could tell him that by doing this he was sparing Peter years of grief in doing something he didn’t want to. Nathan had been groomed for this since he could talk, and he wouldn’t watch Peter suffer the same.
Peter squished his wet face into Nathan’s neck, his body shaking with the force of his silent cries. Nathan shut his eyes and tried to remember this image, one of Peter wilting under the force of his brother’s departure and wondered if Peter would remember this too.
Reluctantly, he pulled apart and refused to see the pitying look on Meredith’s face. She suffered the most in his Peter this, and Peter that conversations, but he didn’t care anymore now than he did when he was saying it. “Bye Ma, Dad.”
He gave them a smile and felt Peter clutch his leg.
It was the longest time it had ever taken him to leave his house, not least because he didn’t want to have to watch Peter’s disappointed face disappear into the distance from the back of the car.
Nathan eased up from his mothers embrace enough to chuckle when his younger brother stumbled down the stairs, almost breaking his neck in an attempt to reach Nathan quicker. The long brown hair was as much his brother as the pout that he remembered from the photo’s his mother had sent. Right now, though, he knew that the grin was the best thing about his brother, and he gave one of his own as Peter flew at him. He mused that, as his brother was almost as tall as him now begged the question of how ridiculously tall Peter was going to be later.
“Hey, Pete.” He bent his brother over and tousled up his hair, even as Peter delivered a kick. His brother had always been a mule that way, and he growled, rubbing even harder.
“Boys.” Their mother’s voice was sharp and they pulled away almost immediately, and Nathan was chagrined at how well they’d both been drilled. Peter’s relaxed attitude was not addictive, much to Nathan’s disgust, and they all made it through to the dinner table.
Their father presided over the table as well as he ever did, and Nathan bent over his dinner and ate in silence, much as he had when they were kids. Peter, however, wasn’t so blessed with the obey-your-big-brother attitude, nor tact and he gave Nathan the eye over his plate of peas. “How’s Meredith?”
The table descended into a frosty silence and Nathan kicked Peter under the table. He couldn’t know, though, that Meredith had fallen pregnant not seven weeks ago. His father and mother had been insisting for the past two on abortion. “Shut up, Peter.” His tone was sharp enough that Peter’s eyes widened and he muttered darkly into his plate.
The guilt was immediate, and Nathan made a mental reminder to apologise, before he saw his fathers glance and started to eat again, angry.
After dinner, it was Peter who came to him to apologise and he stood, mouth opening and shutting stupidly, before he nodded stiffly. Peter smiled, tentatively and things were okay again.
Nathan didn’t know, though, that his brother would be the one apologising wrongly for a long time to come.
And last, but by no means least, Pip! Here's your Ian thinking about John fic :D
title: only maybe
summary: ian thinks of john. [stormbreaker]
notes: sorry it took so long to get to you, Pip :D
He looks at Alex growing up and wonders If John would have done better. His brother was a perfectionist at everything he did (including dying) and Ian gets a brief flash of thankfulness that Alex didn’t grow up like that.
He’s been there for Alex more than he’d ever imagined he could be (Jack is a godsend, though) and he loves him like he’s his own son. It’s why it hurts, sometimes, when Alex wants to talk to John, wishes John was still around.
But he loved his brother too, and tried to give Alex everything he needs. John was everything Ian could have wished for in a brother and more, and he misses him too.
He just hoped John would be proud of how well Alex has turned out, of Alex.
ETA: Stevenage (my home town) played at Wembley Stadium today and won! YAY TEAM! :D